Remote Class Column

Overcoming Adversity: How Do You Cope With Grief?

Cassandra Mischak

Q News

I will never forget the day my godmother took her own life.

Nov. 22, 2013.

I was just a young girl, 11 years old in 6th grade.

My mom and I were driving home from my weekly piano lesson on an early, rainy, Friday evening in November. It happened to be the week before Thanksgiving. 

I was so excited for the weekend, just like any other elementary student.

Particularly this Saturday, I had plans to go to a pottery art class with my godmother, Michelle. 

As my mom and I were discussing the layout of that day, we had an incoming call from my brother and Michelle’s son, Ashton, as they just got off of the middle school bus, going to spend the night at Ashtons house. 

My mom answered on bluetooth for us all to talk and laugh about our days, like we always did, but this time, that was not the case.

They were in complete panic.

There were minimal words we could understand out of the boys’ frantic shouts.

“Help”

“My mom is hanging from the bed”

“She's not moving”

After 7 minutes of utter silence in the car, speeding to the neighborhood, my mom and I showed up to the house to see that Michelle had, in fact, had hung herself.

At this very moment, I entered an extremely dark place at a very young age.

Because of the grief I was fighting against, I was comprehensively numb to any kind of emotion. 

In all honesty, I was hopeless.

After a month, I took the initiative to speak up about my feelings to my parents. My mom and dad have been going to therapy to overcome this agony in our lives and they suggested it was time I did, as well.

I truly believe there is a vast common misconception that therapy is only for the weak and fragile.

In fact, however, that is entirely not true. 

Therapy is for those who want to take the next step of healthy healing. It is a beneficial strategy for coping.

It's a place that provides extra support and permits you to feel heard. Most importantly, it allows you to feel the sense that you are not alone.

When going through a life-altering experience, such as a grieving process, and attempting to accept the loss of a loved one, it is crucial to use healthy coping skills to manage it, such as therapy.

Grief is scary and everybody deals with it differently. In reality, there is no morally right or wrong way to overcome it. 

Based on my personal experience, if I didn’t take that first step of healing my grief by seeking weekly therapy sessions, I don’t think I would be in the proper headspace that I am beyond  lucky to be in today.

Do not be scared to ask for help.

You are not alone.